Have you ever heard that saying ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’? The thing is though sometimes we say something which we think is ‘nice’ and it turns out we hurt someone’s feelings, and when that has happened to me, I then have a huge guilt feeling take over my whole life. I dwell on what I said, why I said it, wished I had not said it and that’s not the way to go.
Let it go, let go of the guilt, because if you were being kind and did not mean to sound unkind, it’s not your problem and the person feeling annoyed, or hurt does not know you well enough. This may sound harsh and believe me I am still a work in progress where this is concerned, but slowly I am getting there.
Look around you and see the people who really and truly understand you, even when you are joking or, if you are being honest and have an opinion, they are the people who have grown over time to get to know you and this does take time.
I persevere if I ‘think’ my words may have upset someone, first off I apologize for any misunderstanding, then I dwell a bit more ( yes I know – work in action ), then I try one more time and then leave it, because I can’t make anything happen just to make me feel better.
In all honesty people hurt my feelings too but over time I have grown a thicker skin and I have been able to work out in my own head that the person probably did not mean to be spiteful and because I want to continue with the relationship, I let it go. Obviously we all know when someone is being mean for the sake of being mean and that’s easy, I give them one more chance then I walk.